Solstice Semenancy in Your Backyard

The semenancers were hard at their sacrilegious craft this past weekend as the pagan rituals surrounding the summer solstice were used as an excuse for orgiastic semenancy on a scale seldom seen before. We have been receiving reports of the aftermath from our friends the world over and we have to face the fact that the popularity of semenancy has exploded over the past year. No longer just the province of traditional heathen peoples of the hinterlands or the networks of satanists controlling the United States and European Union, satanic divination through semen facial pattern interpretation has shot across the face of the planet and left large pools of morally compromised deviants mired in a lifestyle devoted only to pure pleasure and pagan illumination. How many who might have found our Lord one day instead found their fate and faces sealed this heathen "holy-day"???