Semen Dripping From Liberty's Once Proud Face

We are certain everyone who saw the special report last night was as horrified as we were to learn that the US Postal Service nearly printed a new stamp celebrating "religious tolerance" which would have included the symbol of the most prominent school of semenancy alongside the symbols of both Christianity and the most widespread cults. Thankfully our favorite senator was able to intervene in time and the stamp was redesigned - but at this rate how long will it be before this country officially declares the semenancer holy week a national holiday? When will Christ come to drive those who have sold their souls from the halls of power???